Psst!!!

Hey guys,

It’s only been a minute! That’s bloggerspeak for the five years I’ve been MIA. But I lie. This is wayyyyy more than a minute. I know, I know, I ought to be ashamed of myself.

I should hang my head in shame.

I should bury my head in the sand.

I should whip myself from now till next Friday.

I should rend my garments and sit in ashes.

I should change planets! 

A lot has happened to me since I last logged in here. Enough to moan about trust me.  I have lost people close to me. Losses I never imagined I would ever experience in my lifetime. Especially because I thought these people would live forever. Funny thought yes, weird maybe, but it’s true. Nothing ever prepares you to lose someone.  People say time heals all wounds, it doesn’t. The pain remains there. It becomes a dull ache in the chest that makes even breathing difficult. The vacuum is never filled.  I am not able to moan about it here now, maybe in a later post.

In the last five years though…

I have changed jobs twice… Surprise, surprise.

Moved into a flat with my siblings… Now I’m forced to adult.

I have ‘bagged’ a second degree… In real life I never use the term bagged in this context.

Changed churches thrice… More like locations. Not quite hit the church prostitute status but I bet some of y’all think I’m close.

Joined a ministry in church and then left the church… I taught the kids and realised just how hard it is especially because kids never really ‘take’ to me.

Gone natural with my hair… I promise you, I started this out of curiosity. Only to discover it is a fad now, they have meet-ups (you don’t call them meetings now) and pop-ups and nazis. 

 

Seen blogging become a big time money maker and wondered why I had to lose my own mojo… I mean.

Decided to try the fit life… I’m dying to have a six-pack.

Joined Instagram… One would imagine that my ‘success’ or lack thereof with Facebook and Twitter and all the others I have joined would make me stay in my lane.

Been in two and a half relationships… Yes that happened to this single girl.

My life has pretty much been beige paint but if you are still interested in reading about it then leggo!

Here’s to wishing this IGG (initial gra gra) does not just end here… *clink glasses*

Take a back seat Blue.

A couple of friends observed that my last two posts are-in their own words-trifle sad and sobering and another was wondering if it was all made up. Let me state here that this blog is about the happenings-about of my life and the stories are not made up. And also remind someone that life is not a bed of roses (in case you haven't noticed). Even if it were, roses have thorns (deal with it). That said, this brings me to the all-important question...do I really want to have nothing to moan about? I'm not sure I know the answer to that. But then again I do not want to give everyone the impression that I'm some type of 21st century, modern day, New Age Job and I jump from one bad situation into a worse one and then another and another, another, another, another...

So I thought I should ease up on the blue-ness and not blog for a while.

As I was waiting for a blog-worthy, fun activity (no...spending the whole day preparing moin-moin with coconuts is not a blog-worthy, fun activity)-to overtake me and thrust me into a land of sweet smelling flowers (non-allergic) with no thorns-to blog about I remembered that I attended a friend's baby's one year birthday party on the first of August and met a couple of er...interesting characters.

At first sight, I thought I had stepped into a BlackBerry convention; the guys leaning forward with their elbows on their knees and the girls sitting back in their chairs bent to one side, all staring intently, with enough concentration to burn a hole in the little black objects in their hands. It was a big relief to see the cute curly-haired celebrant and his pa. At least I was re-assured I wasn't at the wrong place (one of my biggest fears-getting dressed for a party and turning up at the wrong addy like a funeral and the people there are questioning me in doctor-to-psychiatric patient type manner 'may I help you miss?'). Then I was a little confused about whether to play guest or play host (this confusion stemmed from the relationship I have with the celebrant's father...he is a close friend). Anyways I decided to do a little bit of both and play 'ghost'.

Meet the characters:

The hyperactive and talkative cute small guy with cute nerd glasses (we know you cute....now cut out the attention seeking-interjecting and interrupting serious conversation) who took it upon himself to book an interview for me with his friend who runs an IT firm over the din at the party. Now that was really cute and sweet of him. He also gave me a ride home...how cute (how many times have I used cute here).

The tall, grouchy, Jay-Z fan (declaring it proudly like they were giving away prizes for the title) who refused to step out of 'BB convention' mode (seriously dude, you should have stayed at home). He said he has never heard anything about Jay-Z  and the Illuminati **wide eyed look**. Is that ignorance or just plain living in denial?

The really big guy who didn't move an inch until it was time to go. He just sat there with his friend's BB and and asked for my number. Initially, I told him straight up the same thing I tell other guys...NO. I don't give random guys my number because when they call and I don't return the call they start feeling cheated. Whose idea was it again to get the number? Did the thought ever cross their minds that...hey maybe she ain't calling me because she don't wanna talk to me or She is not interested in calling me.

I digress to make my point on why I don't give random fellas my number. If you have thoughts about this, drop them in the comments' box or save it...whichever. Funny thing, really big guy has sms-ed me once (when I got home after the party) and called once (some days after the party).

The most 'unusual' guy of the evening was the guy in the funny hat. He decided that he couldn't wait till he got to church for his confessional and decided to unload his crap on me. He started by telling me about how he scrapped to make ends meet when he lost his job...wait a minute, is he like serious? Because I told him I just resigned is that why he is telling me this story? Is he trying to relate his-then situation to my-now situation? Helloooo...I'm not scrapping just yet. You were fired, I resigned (I'm sure there was a hint of preparedness in my action). I was unsure about grouping him in the drunk category or getting there category until he leaned towards me in a conspiratory manner and whispered in my ear "Jesus loves me". Smack there, he fell into the drunk category. That was when I stopped listening. It didn't stop him. He continued talking...he said there are ONLY two sins he commits. The first sin...I can't remember because as I said earlier I had stopped listening. The second sin I couldn't help but hear...the sin of fornication (what the [beep]...NOW I'M A PRIEST?!). Just as I was thinking of the tricks to employ to get away from the increasingly uncomfortable monologue, his phone rang (ha...they smiled on me this once).

Don't we all love parties?

Imponderables...

** Singing** (doing my best Fantasia Barrino impression)

                                       He loves me
                                He loves me me me me
                                     He really loves me... (till fade)

I'm a terrible song writer (zilch creativity).

The message I hope, is clear. God really loves me. Here I am, first day of the month, beginning of August, my birth month (WOW-I should be planning my 25th birthday gig...oops no job).
So here I am, about to turn 25 in a few days, musing about everything (even those I choose not to mention): no job, where do I go from here, is my life going to change, is it going to be a downward spiral or upward shoot, how is it going to change, am I still going to be able to make long distance calls-yes I make them sometimes even if you wonder to who, what habits am I going to drop, which new ones am I going to pick up, do I have to change my soap, no more island-mainland shuttle which brings me to ask how am I going to cope without my trusty Red Oak plantain chips; onion and ginger flavour (they have drastically reduced the size-its annoying!!!), can I afford my friend's asoebi, will I continue the not-so-regular-at-all sending of airtime to my only brother aka Lil' bro aka my one and only love, aka 'izzle, how long am I going to piggy-back off Sparkle (aka only sister aka benevolent benefactor aka big sis), can I afford to go whenever; karaoke-ing, wine tasting, checking out new spots, am I going to get/need new friends, will my old friends remain...

Through all of these musings I can see God's promise of love trying to push its way to the fore (why don't I just give this complaining a break?)
I am thankful for a lot of things: I am alive. I am healthy. My family is fine. I can eat. I can walk. I can sing (whoever eat your heart out). I spoke to my mum yesterday and will speak to her again today. I will call my Dad. 'izzle called me this morning. Sparkle will help me if I ask, I have Foxy aka BFF since uni, I have few wonderful friends I'm sure I can always call (or time and meet up on yahoo messenger-it is cheaper, I have to consider cheaper alternatives now) to unload and they would listen, I have family members to tease me and crack me up, I have cousins to show me up/embarrass me on facebook or when I have visitors around. I have youtube funny videos to laugh at. I can even laugh. I understand humour. I possess the mental ability to process info that causes me to either cry or laugh or nag or complain or moan or pray or vomit or spit (I do this only when I'm brushing or something flies into my mouth) or like or dislike or love. I am also going to turn the big 2-5. I will not change my soap...
OMG I just realised the list of things I should be thankful of/for is endless.


I just hope my sincere heartfelt 'father thank you' would suffice.

And yes if you are wondering why Fantasia? I think with her kind of voice she'd make a terrific gospel singer and 'phbbbt' I can't even do a Fantasia Barrino impression. She is like totally AWESOME!

P.S Please how do I make Collectibles stop sending me text messages?